1. Whoa, exes… they’re like quicksand. You give them a chance to be nice but they end up calling you a hoe anyways. Ok. 

  2. British politeness may be a cliché, but literally thr first thing anyone said to me and my friend in London was:
    “May I persuade you to sell me one cigarette?”

  3. Moriarty’s first words

    in the books:

    'You have less frontal development than I should have expected', said he, at last. 'It is a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing-gown.' 

    in BBC:

     ’Is that a British Army Browning L9A1 in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?’

  4. The summer has reached it’s zenith. It’s boiling hot, I have absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go and no money. My options are pretty much “go to the beach” or “go read a book outside” and I’m pretty sick of both of those activities already. 

  5. Martin has a tongue lick for every sentiment

    not-john-watson:

    not-john-watson:

    like

    CONFUSED
    image

    AMUSED
    image

    AROUSED
    image

    FAIR ENOUGH
    image

    100% DONE WITH UR SHIT
    image

    INTERESTED
    image

    THOUGHTFUL
    image

    I’M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU
    image

    BITCH PLS
    image

    I’M GONNA JUMP YOU WITH THIS BEARD

    image

  6. Booty of immense value

    I love it when Arthur Conan Doyle uses expressions that now have…. slightly different meanings, and it’s usually really gay, like John going:

    'Holmes!', I ejaculated.

    or Sherlock shadowing a (bootylicious) criminal like:

    …and having examined his booty and assured himself that it really was of immense value, he had concealed it in what he thought was a very safe place, with the intention of taking it out again in a day or two, and carrying it to the French Embassy , or wherever he thought that a long price was to be had.

  7. (Source: simplypotterheads)

  8. hiddlesbatchlove:

    lilmissitalia:

    If there’s a “heavens no” and a “hell yes” why isn’t there a “purgatory maybe”

    PURGHAPS

    (Source: lilmiss-fallen-pancake)

  9. GoT season 4 gag reel

    This made my day

  10. Game of Thrones Season 4 Bloopers [x]

    (Source: stormborns)

  11. Haha, did you know there’s a site called Men’s humor.com, with “humor tailored for men”…. I guess regular humor just isn’t MANLY enough

  12. I saw a black swan in London @St James’s Park

    I saw a black swan in London @St James’s Park

  13. E Sheeran’s life sounds dope judging by his album

  14. Monster

    Gillian McKeith just handed someone a cup of lettuce soup and told her “this is your new chocolate” in You Are What You Eat. Healthy eating is cool but that’s just brutal. 

  15. songsaboutlondon:

true story.

    songsaboutlondon:

    true story.